I push myself. And drive myself. And pour myself out. And add to my schedule. And make goals. And strive. And strive harder. And work. And work harder.
And yet, at the end of the day, no matter how much I may have accomplished and no matter who I may have influenced, I so often find myself listening to lies that I have not done enough. That I cannot do enough. That I am too small.
And at the crux of those lies is the one that cuts the deepest:
that I am not enough.
I look around me. I see the things that other people are doing. I see their accomplishments. I see their audiences. I see my own awe towards them.
And then the lies grow hands that creep onto my shoulders and press their cold palms down against me. Heavily. Forcefully. They stick to my skin and they push me down. You’ll never do enough. Work harder. You’ll never be enough. Just hide. Just strive. Just stop. Just quit.
Are the lies my master?
If they are, they are a cruel one. They speak rejection. They speak insecurity. They speak shame.
No. The lies will not master me. They will try, but they will fail.
My Master is kind and He loves me because He made me. He loves who I am. He loves who He has made me to be. He loves what He has made me to do. He loves my soul.
Can I rest in that?
In truth, I can have great influence in this world. It just may look different from what someone else is doing. It just may look different than I even expect or different than I think it ought to.
Because here is what the voice of truth says:
Attend to your soul. You will find rest for your soul here.
What is the life that runs through your veins? What gives you breath and momentum? What quiets your heart? What focuses your eyes?
Attend to your soul. Breathe in the life of the One who crafted you, who knows you, who shapes you still. Fix your eyes on the One who imagined you before you were born and who longs for you.
You have been called an ambassador for Christ. Your life carries the message of the way and the truth and the life. You don’t have to have something for everyone. You don’t need to meet everyone’s needs or to meet everyone’s expectations or to meet everyone’s gaze.
Attend to your soul. Remember your hope today.
You only need to have an answer for the hope that you have. You only need to fulfill the calling that is on your life for this day. You only need to be the one you were formed to be. You only need to listen for the Voice that loves to hear your own.
Does it matter who you are compared to the others? Does it matter what anyone else is doing? What anyone else is accomplishing?
Attend to your soul. You have an audience of One. When it all comes down to it—you have an audience of only One. Think of the freedom in that. Think of the weight of that. Think of the grandeur of that…
How will you attend to your soul today?
As for me, I will acknowledge the voice of truth. I will ask God what I am meant to do. Today. I will ask God who I am meant to be. Today. And when I have the answer, I won’t need to look at everyone else. I don’t need to set my measurements for myself up against what anyone else is doing, how anyone else looks, or what anyone else might think. I will attend to my soul, and I will give my all to my audience of One.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake."