When you want to kick and scream..
What do you do when you can't understand what's in front of you? What is your typical response to the things that mess with the plans you've made?
Yesterday, I shared my heart about asking God, "Why?" I made a case for why (and when), biblically, we can pose that question to God. He loves to hear us.
Sometimes, I get so fixated on whatever's going on in the moment that I forget that I'm praying to a God who delights in hearing me and helping me.
A little habit I've adopted for when I'm feeling overwhelmed is that I choose to interrupt my own thoughts and I purposefully pray for someone else. It helps me to remember why I trust God. It helps me to let go of my own perceived control, and of my anxious thoughts.
This very moment is one in which I'm needing to put that particular prayer habit into practice. An unexpected twist is giving me an opportunity. I can choose to depend on God. Or, I can choose to freak out, to kick and scream about the poor short-end-of-the-stick-I've-been-handed, and try, frantically, to come up with my own solution to the problem.
Right now, I'm choosing to lay that twist in God's hands and I'm re-directing my thoughts. And I'm praying for my friend, Cassie, who also happens to be sharing some of her beautiful heart with all of us.
So, I'm off to go lay down my worry and lift up sweet Cassie. And while I do, you can enjoy her wisdom on, "When you want to kick and scream."
When You Want To Kick and Scream
by Cassie Wilson (read more about Cassie HERE)
Aidan, our 15 month old foster son, is in that stage of learning boundaries.
He often expresses his dislikes with very loud, very unnecessary tantrums. Each time he is told “no,” it results with him throwing his toys on the floor and melting into a whining puddle at my feet. Every opportunity we use to correct his behavior turns our typically-happy boy into one giant hot mess.
Even at 15 months old manifests itself in ugly ways. I keep reminding myself that this is just a phase—that he will outgrow it. But, the truth is, I have still not outgrown the desire to cry and yell and sometimes throw myself down in a fit of rage.
The reason our family went into fostering was for the purpose of eventually being able to adopt. We have had Aidan in our care since he was 10 days old. For the last 11 months, he has been exclusively in our home—with no contact from his biological family. And we have been thrilled knowing that the end-game is in sight—that “Wilson” will officially be his last name soon.
But, now there’s been a slight hiccup in our perfect plan and Aidan may not be able to become ours as soon as we had hoped.
It’s exactly the same as my 15 month old! I am being told “no.” Being told that this is not the moment I had been praying for. And inside, I’m terrified and angry. Instead of throwing myself on the ground the way a child does, I aim my hurtful words and actions up towards God!
Even at 32 years old, it manifests itself in ugly ways. Yet, I’m thankful that God still loves me. That He longs to hear from me. And that He has a sovereign plan for me and my family even when I don’t understand (or like) my current circumstances.
One of my favorite Bible passages—it’s one I claimed for myself years ago—is Philippians 4:6-7, and it says:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understand, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
That’s the peace I desire. That I crave.
I’m not sure what you’re experiencing today or what may be darkening your heart and stealing your joy. But I ask that you would join me in seeking God and in allowing Him to give us His beautiful and perfect peace!
Trying to grab ahold of God's peace? Check out the Captive Cards!
21 little cards to help you take ahold of your thoughts, replace them with truth, surrender to Christ, and resolve to live differently.